


Split Second

by LittleSilverBirds



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-28
Updated: 2013-11-28
Packaged: 2018-01-02 22:09:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,678
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1062194
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LittleSilverBirds/pseuds/LittleSilverBirds
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I'm gonna say here that its implied depression/suicide, so just a heads up.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

He heard the voices behind him but he didnt care. He couldnt take life anymore.  
 _Come on, kid, just come down, its okay-_  
No it wasnt. It had never been okay. He was screwed up and nobody cared at all. The one person he wanted to care didnt, his brother was dead, his dad had run off somewhere, none of it mattered anymore. None of it.  
The tracks below him ran paralell to one another, straight lines of black and bronze with the little gravel stones between them and the sleepers of heavy timber making ladders going off as far as he could see. All he had to do was wait for the train.  
People were calling to him where he stood on the rail, hand gripping a support on the bridge just to keep his balance until the perfect moment but none of them tried to pull him down because he was of no consequence to them. If he did it too soon people would be able to drag him off the tracks before the train came-  
"Cas, come on please!"  
He nearly let go at the familiar voice behind him, high with worry and anxiety. He didnt think he'd hear that voice here. Not calling his name and asking him to come down. It had no place here.  
"Castiel please, come here, come down!"  
He shook his head, biting his lip, and a single tear ran down his cheek. Hearing his name in that desperate, lovely voice made something in him jump. He didnt know whether he wanted it more or less now and he just wanted it to stop.  
"Cas," the voice was closer now, a few feet away maybe, "Its Dean, you remember me, yeah? I sit next to you in biology, we're friends arent we? Good friends."  
He let out a sound that was like a choked gasp and halfway to a sob. It hurt so much, he wanted it to end, and this was the only way he knew how to stop it.  
"It- it hurts Dean, I-" he couldnt finish, his hand tightened on the support and he bowed his head, his toes tipped over the edge of the rail a little.  
"I know buddy, I know," Deans voice is soothing, or he's trying to be. "Just step down, you can talk to me about whatever's bothering you, okay?"  
He wanted to, God knows he wanted to. The train was coming, he heard it behind him rattling down the tracks. People started talking amongst themselves.  
 _Should I call 911?_  
 _Someone get him down from there!_  
 _Is he going to jump?_  
Its confusing, its noise. Its filling his head with comotion and he cant focus. Its a buzz in the back of his skull, white noise, soon it'll be gone.   
"Cas."  
Now he turns, he grips the pole with the other hand and turns so he's facing Dean. He looks panicked, desperate. He has one hand stretched towards Cas like he's offering it to him to hold, slightly at an angle, and its trembling almost imperceptably.   
He keeps his eyes on Castiels, looking into them with irises of green and gold. He always thought Dean had beautiful eyes, right from the day he met him. Castiels own blue ones were nothing in comparison.  
"Please Cas, come down," Dean steps forward, he's two feet away now and looking up at Castiel on the rail. The hand that isnt held out to Castiel is slightly away from his body like he's getting ready to grab him if he needs to. "Why're you up there?"  
"Because- nobody cares about me, so why- why should I live?" his tongue is heavy in his mouth and his words are thick. He flexes his fingers on the pole.  
Deans tongue flicks out over his lips and he shifts a little on the spot. The trains getting closer and he knows it.  
"Thats not true buddy, I care." He gazes up at Castiel sincerely and he speaks quickly and clearly, he's sure the crowd can hear too. "I care a lot, okay? You want to know a secret bud? I was gonna ask you if you were free on Saturday. And I still am, arent I?"  
Castiel freezes and keeps his eyes on Dean. He hears the train, it'll be here in a few seconds. He gets ready to fall back on his heels, to let go.   
"For Gods sake please Cas- I dont want you to die!" Dean half yells at him, begging him not to go, "You're smart, you're funny, you're cute- please Cas just come down, if not for yourself then for me, please Cas!"  
Deans hands are held out towards him, he's begging and desperate. Castiel can see the fear in his eyes through the haze of tears in his own that refuse to fall. They're both scared and Castiel wants to much to go to him, and he wants so much to fall too. He's stuck in a stalemate with himself.  
His heart beats once.  
The trains almost at the bridge.  
The people are holding their small children.  
Dean is looking up at him.  
His heart beats twice.  
He falls.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I couldnt resist putting it in two parts sorry

Dean nearly has a heart attack when his hand comes off the pole, and another when he falls forward off the rail. Someone behind them shouts, a woman half-screams. But thats before they realise the direction he's moving in.  
Castiels body hits his own and he wraps his arms firmly around him as he stumbles back a few paces from the sudden weight. Castiels arms lock around his neck, hands scrabbling at his back seeking purchase on his overshirt and his fingers hook into the fabric desperately.  
The train passes under the bridge in a thunder of wheels on rails and clattering metal.  
Someone behind them curses about stupid teenagers being dramatic, scaring people for no reason, and Dean ignores them because Cas.  
The boy is clinging to him, shaking, pushing his face against Deans neck and gasping breaths of air in out in out, hyperventilating. Their bodies are flush against each other and Dean just wants to wrap around Castiel and let him know its okay.  
He's gripping him tight around his chest, one hand fisted in the fabric of his jacket and the other palm flattened against his shoulders, fingers spread. Dean buries his face in the crook of his neck, breathing in what he almost lost.  
Castiel is blurting out apologies in a tear thick and sob broken voice, tears are soaking into Deans shirt an he doesnt care. Theres still a crowd around them, not so much now that most of that drama is over, but still a grouping of mothers and old ladies and teenagers passing by wondering what the hell just happened.  
"I'm sorry I'm so sorry-"  
"Shh," Dean hushes Castiel and rubs his back the way he used to for Sam, and still does sometimes, "Shh, you're okay now, I've got you."  
And Castiel is trembling and he cries out like he's in pain, which he is in a way, and his legs feel like they're about to give out right now and most of his weight is on Dean because he's trembling so hard he cant even stand. If he lets go now, Cas would just crumple to the floor. Dean only wishes he could stop it somehow. People still murmur behind them in not so quiet whispers.  
 _Is he okay now?_  
 _I still think I should call 911._  
 _Mommy what happened? Why are they hugging like that?_  
 _I got that all on video, this is so going on YouTube!_  
But they ignore it all because its only Castiels laboured breathing on his neck, his hands fisted at his back, Deans arms around Castiel and his face buried at his shoulder. They're reassuring each other, because they're both terrified.  
Dean brings a hand up to cradle the back of Castiels skull, fingers threading through his hair and his thumb strokes his scalp as he tries to soothe him and shuts his eyes tight. Castiels sobbing dies a little to hiccupping sobs, hitching breaths he cant control. To be honest, Deans own breath is catching in his chest and shuddering on the way out but he wont let himself go. He wont cry out of the shock and fear of almost losing Cas, no. He needs to be strong for him, stable because he needs stability right now.  
"You're okay, Cas, hey," he turns his head and leaves a brush of lips on the crest of his ear, "You're okay now, its gonna be okay."  
"I'm so sorry-"  
Dean hushes him again and leaves little touches of his lips on his temple, in his hair, on his cheek, before nestling his head back at his shoulder. He rocks them a little where they stand, humming something he doesnt remember the name of right now but likes the sound of. Someone comes up closer to them and touches Dean lightly on the shoulder.   
"Will you be okay now?" the woman with a small child asks when he looks up, "You need a lift anywhere or...?"  
Dean shakes his head, "I've got a ride. Thanks though, we'll be fine."  
Though she gives him a kind smile before taking her child away, Dean was sure he'd said the last part to Cas more than her. He repeats it close to his ear and bumps their heads together a little. Eventually they'd have to move but they had some time to kill.   
Deans mother had told him be home for six, its only five twenty-six. And he knew Castiel didnt have anyone to go home to, he's sure Mary wouldnt mind him bringing Castiel with him. Especially after this.  
Another train rumbled its way underneath the bridge.   
"You're coming home with me," he told Castiel, "I'm gonna take care of you, okay? We'll be okay. You'll be fine."  
Castiel only mumbles something suspiciously like I love you I'm sorry and curls closer like he cant get close enough to Deans warmth.


End file.
